1.12.2012

Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve posted on this subject.  I’m not sure why, exactly, but maybe it’s because I just didn’t feel like dealing with it.  Aloud.  For all to hear read.  Until now, I guess…

Since I last left you, not a whole lot has changed for me (in terms of hormones).  I still have not gotten a period since the end of July, but it appears some of my crucial hormone levels are beginning to increase (namely DHEA and progesterone).  My ob/gyn suggested starting an aggressive 6-month round of fertility meds and I just wasn’t quite ready to do it.  With both of us finishing up school and Colin not yet having a job, we decided to delay this process until the Fall.  If we have to go that route, so be it, but I would really like to give my body a chance to regulate things on its own.  It may be wishful thinking, but I’m okay with that…I’m an eternal optimist 😉

When we made the decision to wait, I felt like a HUGE weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.  I talked with my local ND who referred me to a specialist on female hormones.  He reviewed all my lab work and ordered a few new tests.  I’m following his recommendations based on the results, so we shall see.  I’ll keep you posted, for sure.

To date, I’m about 7 pounds over my maintainable “skinny jeans” weight, but I’m actually feeling really comfortable with it.  Sure, I’ve been substantially leaner in my life, but I can still do everything that I want to do.  That’s what matters to me!

With my doctor’s okay, I’ve ramped my workouts back up a bit, making sure I’m taking rest when I need it and trying to do less than 1-hour of strenuous activity a day.  He also recommended I workout only in the morning, because my test results indicated certain levels of hormones are elevated from noon-bedtime.  Interesting, right?

I think the hardest part for me right now is that everyone in my world is popping up pregnant.  Most days I feel nothing but happiness for them, but every once-in-a-while I get a pang of jealousy and frustration and panic and sadness and fear.  So I cry.  And then I take a deep breath and remind myself that eventually our day will come too.

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Julie January 12, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Natalie, I can’t imagine how tough this is to write, let alone think about. You are so brave, and you’re right, your time will come. I’m sending every best thought.

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Sarah January 12, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Oh, Natalie, I am so sorry. I know how that feels. My heart aches for you, but know that your time will come. And at the right time. I am hear if you need to talk – or have someone to cry with! 😉 Love you!

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Katie January 13, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Honey, you are so amazing! I am sending lots of hugs and good vibes out into the Universe for you right now. I hope they reach you.

And you are going to be such an awesome mother, whenever that may be!

I am also very pleased to hear that even though you are not as lean as you have been in life, you are comfy in your skin and with your body.

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